Soldier Receives Award For $200M Cost-Savings Idea

SATIRICAL_NEWS

U.S. Army Pentagon officials have officially released a statement announcing the awarding of a soldier from the 27th Infantry Regiment for a cost-savings idea.

Stryker Vehicle

The 8-wheeled vehicle will soon shed $200M

“We are thrilled today to announce a cost-savings plan from not the highest brass at the pentagon but from one of our own dedicated soldiers in the field,” was the announcement Army spokesman Jake Snow made as he detailed the winning idea today. “The SEWER Program (Stryker Extra Wheel Efficiency Reduction Program),” Snow added, “will save the military an estimated 200-Million dollars throughout the service life of the Stryker family of vehicles and will greatly contribute to the Army’s goal of reducing costs in smart, and creative ways during these trying times.”

The SEWER Program has left officials wondering, “why didn’t we think of that.” It calls for the removal of 2 wheels from all and future Stryker family vehicles. This monumental plan would reduce the cost of each vehicle by over $80,000 in addition to future maintenance costs.

The lucky soldier was shocked to hear that his idea was selected by officials. “I didn’t really expect my idea to win, it was more of a joke than anything but I guess it was a good idea,” admitted SPC Brian Duffy of Alpha Company, 1st Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team.

The SEWER Program is one of many new ways that top officials are looking to reduce operating costs while retaining the ability to react to conflicts around the world. We can be sure to see this and future bright ideas in the coming years.

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