Secret Memo Details New DoD Plans

SATIRICAL_NEWS

US-Infantry has just received an alert from an inside source of a private memo that is circulating around top brass at the Pentagon outlining presumed Secretary of Defense Hagel’s bold new plans for the Department of Defense.

DOD_HAGEL
Today it was learned that there is a secret memo making its rounds through the Pentagon’s top-brass. That memo is sure to cause a stir of emotions as it outlines the details of a bold new plan for the direction and role of America’s military for the future.

A source from the Pentagon told our reporters that the plan calls for a streamlining of America’s fighting forces.

Some of that streamling revealed thus far may include any of the following:

  • The reduction of active duty forces by 80%
  • The closure of all but 3 bases labeled, Joint Services Bases
  • The creation of one conglomerate fighting force eliminating the need for individual branches
  • Possible integration with an international defense force

It is rumored that the official plans will be unveiled soon after Hagel’s confirmation which, despite an attempt at a filibuster, is presumed to happen.

There are many within the Department of Defense that don’t think this is exactly the right plan. An Army┬áBrigadier General who wish to remain anonymous told our reporters, “I don’t want to say that this is a dumb idea but, if this idea were a kid it would probably be licking a window.”

Undaunted, our source from the Hagel camp stated, “Mr. Hagel is very experienced and knowledgeable – he wouldn’t lead us down the wrong path.”

We will keep you up to date on this breaking story.

——————————————————————————————————–

For those unaware, Mr. Hagel served during the Vietnam War as an Army infantry SGT and was awarded two Purple Hearts for injuries he received during battle. We here at US-Infantry wish him nothing but the best and wisdom while fulfilling his duties.