LCpl Ruins Marine Corps Birthday

Tragedy threatens Marine Corps birthday celebration as LCpl John Todd inadvertantly destroyed the official Marine Corps Birthday Cake.

 Early this morning LCpl Todd, who was working a detail in preparation for the celebration of the Marine Corps birthday, inadvertently knocked the cake on to the ground where it was unfortunately destroyed beyond repair.

Initial reports indicate that the accident was the result of “grab-ass” involving a game where one person makes a circle with their thumb and pointer-finger and if the other person stares at it, you get to slap them in the genitals, this according to another LCpl who witnessed this accident.

Commandant John Amos was reportedly furious and told staffers to, “bring me that Marine’s balls!” We are unsure if that was an expression or an actual demand.

LCpl Todd is reportedly being referred to as, “that guy,” by other members of the Corps and we are sure that no one will soon forget the day that LCpl Todd ruined the Marine Corps birthday.

In case this does in fact ruin tonight’s ceremony, Happy Birthday Marine Corps and Semper Fi Marines.

We will keep you up to date in this breaking story.