Korea Declares State of War, Obama Apologizes

SATIRICAL_NEWS

North Korea declares state of war with South Korea, Obama issues apology for decades of unjust and unfair treatment of previous administrations – promises a new day for US/Korean relations.

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URGENT – From Washington D.C. comes an startling announcement from the Whitehouse. Shortly after 9 pm EST, officials from Pyongyang, North Korea issued a declaration of a state of war against South Korea.

U.S. officials have just released a statement from the President – in it, Obama decries a history of soured relations between the two nations and says the U.S. is ready to accept responsibility for past misgivings and is reading to make a change. In the release Obama states, “my predecessor, George Bush, perpetuated a pattern and history of failed politics based on the idea that the U.S. is the greatest nation in the world – that isn’t my view and I want to share that view with the people of both North and South Korea. No longer will the U.S. be seen as a military and moral superior in the world – our role is not to protect but to be a friend to the region, regardless of our past.”

The announcement has been met with both cheers and jeers – longtime Californian U.S. House Representative Nancy Pelosi praised the Obama announcement stating, “this is a very brave and appropriate statement from a very wise President.” On the other side of the aisle there were calls for impeachment proceedings.

An aide close to the President spoke on a condition of anonymity when he told our reporters that, “obviously the President wants what everyone else wants and that is to avoid unnecessary war especially when the politics of the past administration are largely responsible for the current situation on the Korean Peninsula.”

We will keep you up-to-date on this breaking story.

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